Mental Health | An Alternative Perspective.

Having a mental health illness such as anxiety and panic disorder doesn't just affect the person suffering from it. It affects those closest too them too. For me, I kept my problems and diagnosis hidden from a lot of people and only told people I felt I had to tell and those I trusted to keep it a secret. After all, I was embarrassed and incredibly guilty for feeling how I was feeling and worried what people would think of me, which looking back was not how I should have been feeling at all. By telling those closest to me, I was able to get the support needed, have them on my side and I didn't feel like I had to go through it alone. I was intrigued to pick the thoughts from my nearest and dearest about my diagnosis and how their thoughts on anxiety and mental health in general have changed since.

My Boyfriend of 6 years.

How did you feel when I told you I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder?
I knew you had some anxiety problems but I never realised how bad they were. To begin with, I felt like I was treading on eggshells around you because I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I didn't know anything about anxiety or panic disorder so I didn't really know how you needed to be helped. After I asked you how I could help and you told me, it's become easier because I know what I should and shouldn't say and do and what to do if you have a particularly anxious moment or panic. 

What were your thoughts and views on mental health as a whole before my diagnosis?
I knew people suffered from it but I didn't understand why or how they came to suffer. In all honesty, I didn't really believe it. I thought that people who had mental health problems were people in secure hospital units and had to be retrained like in films and I really had no idea of how many different levels and types of mental health conditions there were. 

How do you view mental health as a whole now?
Mental health as a whole is something not enough people know about. It's brushed under the carpet and it really shouldn't be. I understand the biological factors of mental health specific to your condition now and feel it really should be treated the same as a physiological injury or condition.

What is the hardest part of me suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for you?
Whenever I'm not with you, I can't help, and because were so far away at different universities, I can't just pop over and help calm you down or be there for you. I can ring or FaceTime you, but it's not the same. I don't like knowing that at times, you're physically on your own when you feel low.

My Mum.

How did you feel when I told you I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder?
Worried because I was out of control and wasn't able to make you better like if you had a tummy bug or a cold. I also felt guilty especially due to the fact your Dad and I and the way we dealt with the 'Queensgate situation' was technically the cause of your anxiety and I'm you're mum so I fundamentally feel like it's my fault. I also was scared of what it could develop into, and was scared of how you would handle it all. 

What were your thoughts and views on mental health as a whole before my diagnosis?
Very open minded as I have experienced mental health in my working and personal life. Although it's still not talked about enough and understood by many, I feel like it's better than it was 30 years ago when I first came across mental illness. I did understand the biological side of mental health from my healthcare training and experiencing mental illness in my family. 

How do you view mental health as a whole now?
I've always had a very open minded approach to mental health and fully understand it can affect anyone whoever they are. Its not about the type of person they are, it's about a chemical imbalance. However, different personalities are able to handle this in different ways and it does affect everyone differently.

What is the hardest part of me suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for you?
Not being able to help you in anyway. I can't do anything to make you feel better when you are having a bad day, it is out of my control (and I'm a control freak!). However, I am very proud of how you deal with it and I am proud of you for  how you are turning it around from being a negative thing for you into a positive thing to help yourself and others. 

My Dad. 

How did you feel when I told you I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder?
At first, I was in a state of denial (I suppose I still am). I honestly thought you knew too much being a student nurse and was reading into it too deeply. Even when you were signed off by the doctor for being too unwell to work or be at university, I told myself you were exhausted and your body was just too tired. I just didn't want to believe it. 

What were your thoughts and views on mental health as a whole before my diagnosis?
I wrongly joked about it. It's very common for people to joke about topics they have a lack of understanding about and I was one of those people. I believed that those with mental health conditions were in asylums, not normal people living normal everyday lives. 

How do you view mental health as a whole now?
I have a deeper understanding of it all now, especially thanks to you writing this blog as not everything you type up for on here you say out loud to me and your Mum. But, I still try not to think too deeply about it as I don't want to believe it all. 

What is the hardest part of me suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for you?
Guilt. People always say "it's always the parents fault" and it does make me feel guilty. Even though you always tell us it's not our fault, I will always feel guilty. As your Dad, I helped build the building blocks for your life, and in my eyes, there must have been something go wrong for you to be how you are now.


My Brother.

How did you feel when I told you I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder?
When you was first diagnosed, I didn't even know - no one told me in case I worried too much. When I found out though, I didn't really believe it, probably because I couldn't see anything wrong with you. Once you and others talked to me a bit more about it, I understood it more and just wanted you to be okay. 

What were your thoughts and views on mental health as a whole before my diagnosis?
I thought people who had mental health conditions were those whose mental illness shows in their personality, the way they think, talk or do things. Like schizophrenics talking to voices. I never really understood the different types of mental health conditions at all. 

How do you view mental health as a whole now?
That people with a mental health illness aren't 'insane' or 'mental' as is can sometimes be shown in the media or on TV programmes and films. I also know that it affects a lot more people than I realised, its not always obvious at all and it should be talked about more. 

What is the hardest part of me suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for you?
I don't find it hard really now that I understand it. Because we don't live together any more, I keep updated with your blog too to help me learn about it more as well as talking on the phone and texting to know you're okay. I just have to be a nice and supportive brother and then it's okay for us both. 

My Best Friend

How did you feel when I told you I had been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder?
I was confused. I didn't know anything about any of it, at all, and I didn't really know how to handle it. I didn't realise it was as bad as you had been telling me, and I didn't now how to help. But I definitely was very confused about it all. 

What were your thoughts and views on mental health as a whole before my diagnosis?
I never had any experience of it so I never really thought about it. I think that unless you come face to face with it or have first hand experience of it, it's not something that really concerns you. 

How do you view mental health as a whole now?
I'm more aware of it all and how it affects people. I know about the problems it can cause people from what you tell me about what you feel you can and cant do, and I am definitely more sympathetic about it all. 

What is the hardest part of me suffering from anxiety and panic disorder for you?
In all honesty, it can be hard having to hear you say the things you say when you're anxious. It's difficult to understand why you say the things you do but I do try and put that to the back of my mind and think 'okay, this is the anxiety talking' and do the best I can. I have to give you frequent boosts of confidence to keep you going sometimes which can be hard too, to know I have to do that, but I do it because it helps you. 



I hope this post helps you understand how others feel around the topic of mental health and anxiety and panic disorder in particular. For those of you worried about speaking to a parent, a friend, a sibling or a partner about how you're feeling, I hope this helps you open up and talk to someone about it all. Even though it is a very challenging concept to understand for people who do not have experience or and education of it, in my experience, the people nearest to you love you for you, will try their best to understand and empathise and will always be there to support you and help you get through the bad times. 



Love Luce xo