I'm now home for Christmas for two weeks and could not be happier. The last few nights between day shifts on the ward have consisted of squeezing my eyes shut tight to force myself to go to sleep because I've been so excited to come home. Any other 20 year old's get this excited for this time of year?
Christmas is the one time of year that honestly makes me truly happy. For me, Christmas is about family, food, presents and celebrating with people that mean the most to me. I have always got over excited for Christmas. My Mum and Dad told me today that when I was really young, around 6 or 7, I would get so excited for Christmas that I wouldn't concentrate in school, I would by hyperactive 24/7 and get in trouble, I wouldn't sleep, and I even used to make myself physically sick from working myself up to a stupid level of excitement.
I don't know what it is that is so exciting for me, but the whole idea of being surrounded by family, playing games, eating nice food, exchanging gifts, having the fire on and drinking endless amounts of cups of teas makes me so happy. I miss my family while I'm away at university as it is anyway, but coming home for two weeks, especially this year, feels so amazing. Everyone just seems to be in a better mood at Christmas and this settles me a lot when I see people smiling, happy and sometimes even singing.
Not all of my Christmas' have been amazing, in fact last Christmas I spent the afternoon in tears because of family bickering, and a few years ago I lost my Grandad who I was very close to, but this does not stop me being excited and on an incredible high for the festive period. Mum often comments on how stressful Christmas can be for her with the cooking and organising of visitors, gifts, money and food etc, but it is all worth it, surely? Spending quality time with family and friends is just what I need and what a perfectly timed Christmas for me this is. So far, my anxiety levels have been low and I am enjoying my time at home already. I have lots planned with family and friends and although some of them are quite anxiety provoking and will require me to break out of my comfort zone, I am doing my best to think positively to keep my anxieties at bay.
I don't really know why I decided to write this post. Maybe to reinforce my emotions for myself because they are so positive, and I've always wanted this blog to show my good times as well as the tough ones, but for those of you following my blog posts and wondering how I am, here's an update. Maybe my excitement is excitement for happiness rather than Christmas itself? Who knows, but I am happy. Merry Christmas and I hope everybody who reads this has an absolutely amazing time over the next few weeks. Tell your family and friends how much you love them and embrace the festivities.
Love Luce xo